Roar Shack RIP

They tore down the Roar Shack. It's gone, and that is a fucking shame. Not only did Starcrossed and Wasted record everything there lots of other bands got their best sound in that room. Most of what you have heard about it is bullshit, or exaggerated, but still it was a great place to rock out with your cock out let me tell you. Beautiful Corpse did a few early demos there, but we have worked all over the place but I have never really felt at home in another studio. 

Roar Shack: Facts and Fictions

- It was not built on an "ancient indian burial ground", just an old cemetary where they unceremoniously buried many natives who died of infectious diseases brought to them by the first missionaries. 

- It was a catholic church turned orphanage. And there are reports that the priests there took full advantage of their exclusive access to the young boys. The whole "possessed by evil" thing started with them actually, back in the late 1800s they dug a well right where the cemetary was and the putrified bodies leaked untold biological horrors into the water table and poisoned it. But the church said it was an ancient pagan evil striking out against men of God. I guess it kind of was, depending on how you look at it. Either way they shut it down and the assholes of several young boys rejoiced.

- It was never a whorehouse, although that was a rumor started by the local right-wingnuts to justify their storming the place in 1934 and starting a fire that killed everyone inside. It was a supposed to be a "raid" on an illegal still, but since prohibition was officially over at that point, and there didn't turn out to be any alcohol on the premises, the organizers needed to spin the fiasco to avoid prosecution. So they cried "house of ill-repute" with allegations of all sorts of depraved goings on, dead people, animals, you name it. Kinda makes you wonder where they get these ideas at the drop of a hat, like they were already thinking them....hmmm. That fire is why the studio was a huge cavernous room. The gutted building was only partially restored, and what had been two floors and several rooms became one massive open concept. It made for a huge sound. 

- Black Sabbath, Deep Purple and Carlos Santana NEVER recorded there. I don't know why these names are always linked to the place. It was the home of lots a great acts, but not really any big names. Jim Morrison hung out there for a while when he was laying low in early 70's. He was on a Starcrossed and Wasted track we recorded there in 1974 Not playing, just slamming the bathroom and it got caught on an otherwise perfect take so we kept it. You can hear it during the big solo on Sticky Ichor. If anyone is paying attention to the dates, yeah well, nobody gets out alive right? 

- Speaking of laying low, ZZTop hung out at the Roar Shack when they were on hiatus before Eliminator. They were aggressively jamming and growing facial hair. Good times. It was always a great play to not get noticed, juts look at my career...lol....sigh.....fuck.

- Young Patty Carroll, what's-her-face and I did record together there, but none of what we did was ever in anything I heard her do as Buckethead. I guess some of the Deli Creeps stuff is similar but I think she really grew into her own animal when she donned the bucket. As far as I know she never went back with Bob Maximum, or Praxis or any of her other Bucketheaded projects.

What have you heard about the Roar Shack? 

Where are they now?

Back when a fan club was a newsletter that got mailed to your house, and not just a Facebook page, I actually had one. It was in the Starcrossed and Wasted days before Beautiful Corpse... you know.... when I made money and had a future in this business. Anyway, it was run by this really keen little kid, Brian Warner. I used to reply to his letters because he was so into it and he ran the fan club for free and that was a lot of work. It was like having a rabid little press agent working for free. So Brian is all about finding out about by personal life, which I wasn't really big on sharing. But he uncovers this gig I had on a cruise ship. It was horrible music, but the pay was regular and I hadn't sold anything at that point. The funny thing was I didn't perofrm under my real name, the little fucker figured it out from an old promotional poster for the act. So he askes me "Are you Charles Monroe?" And I have to admit I was blown away and a little freaked out, but I decided no harm could come of it because it was ancient history. So I admit I did perform as Charles Monroe for a while. Brian askes me where I got that name from and I tell him, "It is Charles Manson and Marylin Monroe" you put those two parts of their names together and you get something so banal no one would ever notice it. It was perfect for a guy who wanted to disappear." He thought that was pretty stupid, and that I should have used the other two names because it sounded cooler. I don't think he understood what I was trying to do, but then Brian was all about fame and fortune and couldn't grasp the concept of desired anonymity. Nice kid though, I wonder where he is now?

The Cat in the Hat

Let's jump into the Wayback Machine and visit the ghosts of Christmas past. It is the summer of 1977 and I was fuckyerself years old. I was at a social funtion at Marc Bolan's house and saw this hat that he wore in the picture they used for the greatest hits album cover. I thought it was cool and put it on and proceeeded to strut around asking people to "Get it on and bang my gong". It's all fun and games until someone falls in the pool. Long story short the hat is fucked and I'm the asshole. I apologize profusely and feel like a complete shit, but what can I do the damage is done. So I get a hold of a friend of mine who did some really nice custom wardrobe stuff for Bowie, and ask her to make me a new hat for Bolan as a gift. Big top hat, really cool, I did a basic drawing and she really brought it to life. I really enjoyed the creative process and considered a clothing line about this time. The only bummer was she had a kid running around and he stole my Zippo, the little shit. Given my legendary inability to get my shit together it's November and I still haven't had a chance to pick it up even though she's had it ready since before Halloween. I think I was overseas on tour with Aerosmith. When I get back the unthinkable has happened and Marc is gone. So I'm all fucked up about it, and I never have the heart to pick up the hat. I had already paid Ola for it, so I abandoned it there and never thought about it again. Until the mid-eighties of course when it resurfaced, perched precariously atop Slash's head. I guess his Mom held on to it and he found it at some point. I don't know I've never spoken to the man. He can have the hat, but he owes me a fucking lighter.

Accept it!

While I am playing rock and roll mythbuster I would like to clarify somehting for y'all. In the truth is stranger than fiction department, Udo Dirkschneider isn't a midget. He is like 5'10", do you really think a voice that huge could come out of a little guy? So the fact is the guitar players in Accept were all fucking giants. I played with these guys in Asia and seriously it was like hanging out with redwoods. Two of them played competitive basketball, and one of them was a professional wrestler. He is the one who got me into the whole "beyond the mat" thing with pro wrestling. Udo is one of those unsung heros of rock vocals, what a terrifying guy to hear live, check em out if it's been a while.

Buckethead is a Chicken

Anyone who has followed my career knows I don't kiss and tell. I hate rats, almost as much as I hate squirrels...

+digression: squirrels is what I call journalists because they crawl all over the city, they are as ubiquitos as they are nuts, and more importantly they are really just rats in better wardrobe. Don't be fooled by the press credentials and the fluffy tail, they are rats and should be treated accordingly with arsenic+

When it comes to my old friend Buckethead though, I really must break the silence. I knew Buckethead before the bucket and the coop, way back in the primordial beginning. Absolutely amazing guitarist, buckethead was the guitarest as I used to say. I can finally go on record and admit that Guitarded was inspired by my old friend's playing.

Now to what is bothering me, the theory about Buckethead's actual identity. Wiki lists Brian Patrick Carroll as Buckethead's birth name. Interesting, I also knew Patty as he was known then. Helluva a good guy and a fairly decent guitar player, but I what I really rememebr him for was his barbecue. That man could grill the flesh of the fallen like no other. A maestro with fire and a nice chunk of animal corpse.

+digression: rumours that I myself have eaten human flesh while hanging out with a certain Norwegian death metal band not withstanding I would be shocked to learn that Patty would indulge in cannabalism. He was nothing if not a gentleman+

So while Patty was a mutual friend and co-contributor to some early projects, Patty is not Buckethead. Or Buckethead is not Patty. Although they did date briefly. Before everybody starts gasping and quoting me as saying Buckethead is gay, let me finish. Not only did they get the name wrong, they weren't even looking in the right genderection...Buckethead ain't a dude. So let me tell you what really happened.

We had a little band with myself, she-who-would-become Buckethead, Patty Carroll and Bob Maximum if memory serves. Bob was still playing drums at this stage, he hadn't found his voice and his bloodstained apron yet. Pat was whining because Pre-coop wanted him to give up the guitar and just play bass because she could play circles around him. This is where I stepped in with words to live by, I said "sweetie, you have the face of an angel and play like the devil but no one is going to take you seriosuly as a guitarist because you're a girl". Fuck off, it was the late 70's and sexism was still alive and kicking. Anyway, as she (note I am not giving y'all a name here, she doesn't want you to have it so who am I to give to you?) as she proceeds to wax political about rights and wrongs and fairness and equality among persons I delivered the following line and created a monster.

"You'd be taken more seriously as a guitarist with this KFC bucket on your head than you ever will as a woman."

So there you go, leave poor Patty alone. It probably irks the hell out of him that after getting the bump down to bass for her, people are expecting him to play as well as she does. Do yourself a favour and try his brisket instead. And as far as my old friend Buckethead, I hope Axl was a gentleman and I think enough time has passed that you should be able to safely leave the coop and face the world as a woman.

Now let me hear the pack howl back...

Welcome to the Bunghole

To my most rabid fans, get your fucking shots.

Seriously though, I have been hounded to do something this for a few years so I figured I should get off ass and get down to it. Most blogs are an epic ethereal circle jerk shooting wads of cold wet opinion on the ever soggy cookie of the truth. Not here folks, no fucking way. The full moon of bullshit shines bright on the midnight of my discontent, and I can no longer resist the urge to howl. 

If you were hoping for sordid tales of life on the road from my glory days, keep surfing because these waters run much deeper and the waves are crashing hard on the rocks. I have come to set the record straight. Many things have been said of me, from praise to damnation, but never that I wasn't totally brutally sociopathetically honest.

Glad you found me, lets see what we can discover.